fml, i did it again.
I found myself once again back in my ex’s arms tonight. I’ve been telling myself to get over him, just move on & i did to a point. One phone call is all it took tonight, just one. He wanted to see me, since we haven’t seen each other in over a month, so told him sure. I was expecting awkwardness, and arguing. Instead it was a long needed hug, ” i miss you’s” & amazing kisses that i’ve missed so much.
It’s like those old feelings came back like when we first started dating, but i know it’s long gone but it was nice to get a little reminder on how it felt. We talked about how things are going with him, and how i’m doing. He told me he knows he pissed me off pretty good, and was sorry for everything. But no apology, nothing can take back what he’s done.
Next thing i know is that i’m caught up in the moment, he knows how to get to me & he takes full advantage of it. I mean it feels right, but it also feel so wrong. I ended up sleeping with him, when i kept telling myself i wouldn’t. There’s something about him, i just can’t let go. I feel like the girl im supposed to be when we’re together, but i also know being with him will get me no where.
I’ve been screwed over, cheated on and all that. So im sitting here right now asking myself ” Why the fuck did i just do that?!” Things aren’t the same, things have changed. I’m not missing out on anything, yeah i miss the kisses & falling asleep in his arms, the cuddling. But there’s more to relationships that sex. He cheated, he didn’t put me first. I deserve a good guy who will be there for me and treat me right.
i’m way too emotional with this guy, but im letting go. I shouldn’t of did that tonight, but i guess it’s just a reminder on feelings lost.
I’m such an idiot.
tagged as: me. ex probs. fml. why. :c.
posted on September 3, 2012